that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
