best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
