As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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