You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
