8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
