Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Terrible idea I love it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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