I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
