I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
