Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
