You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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