found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
