...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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