Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
