I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
