remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize