I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
