You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
