3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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