Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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