all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
