you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
