note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
