as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
