She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
