We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if only i could text you this smell
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
