Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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