I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize