He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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