ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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