I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
