Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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