I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
