So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
