all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
