You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
