And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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