It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
