You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
