i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
