brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
