Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
