This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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