awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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