Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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