Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
