I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize
