playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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