all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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