She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is Oprah even human
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
