After last night, I could never be a politician.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
