were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
