I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
