Dual....:-)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
