I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
