Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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