I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
