Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
