she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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