i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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