its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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