OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
