dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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