Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
