i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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