Swine flu. Run for my life!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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